Ok can I just say that I am also abusing my blog. All I do is complain. It sounds like I am not a happy person. I am though. In fact, to prove it, I will tell a recent funny occurance in my life that shows that happiness does in fact permeate my existence. Johnmark, my husband, wanted to paint our bathroom. This bathroom is cursed, but we didn't find out about that until later. The way it originally looked was so hideous, I can barely describe it. The cieling sagged from water damage, the light fixture resembled something out of a Frankenstein movie, the mirror also. It (the mirror)was goldish coppery and had a huge frame around the edge. Turns out the mirror is also a medicine cabinet, so replacing it meant tearing out part of the wall. Which was okay, since we already had to tear out the cieling. The sink was in an ugly wooden cabinet that made the already tiny bathroom feel more like a miniature jail cell (from one of those prisons run by the fashion police), so it had to go. Sinice we were replacing the sink, we thought, hey why not also replace the toilet, since it is losing its porcelin finish and looks like a big black poo smeared across the side and no one ever wiped it off. Now, to the walls...these were the most bizarre, ugly things in our ENTIRE house. They were, and I use the term loosely, sponge painted an "interesting" shade of blue. Something between royal and navy blue I would say. YOU DO NOT SPONGE PAINT THIS COLOR OVER WHITE WALLS...EVER. Anyway, the reason I say "sponge paint" is because I don't think the same person did all four walls, or else they were kind of learning as they went. One wall was mostly white, one mostly blue, the other two somewhere in between. On top of this, there was a border. Of course, the border did not go at the top of the wall, where and sane person would put it...and yes, the border was wallpaper, and it was hung around the middle of the walls (I suppose it was meant to be a chair rail, but there was no trim or anything, just the wallpaper randomly halfway down the wall) IT was hunter green, pink, and blue diamonds, with some gold little design at the top and bottom. Now, do not be fooled, the blue in the border was NOT the same blue as the wall, not even kind of close. My favorite feature of this bathroom, however, must be the pink "sponge painted" trim and back side of the door. Now, when I say pink, I mean like a deep Pepto Bismal shade. SPONGE PAINTED on the TRIM and the DOOR. Not the whole door, mind you...just the recessed panels of it. This made scraping the trim and door quite necessary, which led to another surprise. Someone had painted the trim and door with oil-based paint, then covered that with water-based paint. This means that you literally have to peel the paint off but cannot use any type of paint remover to help you. What a pain. Ok...so this bathroom needed some work. We chose a nice powdery blue to repaint it, got a pedestal sink, a new toilet, hung Davey board (white wood panelling) and replaced the cieling and fan. Now, I won't go in to all the problems with plumbing that went on in the bathroom, but be assured there were several. Well, the blue paint dried and turned purple. We didn't want purple, because that is already the color of our bedroom. SO, Johnmark wanted to paint it again. Yellow. I like yellow, it's a great happy bathroom color. My huusband HATES yellow. I cannot imagine why I agreed to letting him paint the bathroom yellow. But he went and got some yellow paint and boom, it was yellow. Johnmark walks into the living room, paint roller still in hand and says "I hate it. The bathroom looks like a baby nunrsery, we have to repaint it." OK, so I suggest that since we haven't got any more money to spend on another gallon of paint, that we ask the people at the paint store to add some color to our yellow paint and make it more cheery, less pastel. Bad idea. We got them to add some color, came home and re-repainted the room...now it looked like Big Bird swimming in an ocean of bananas. Now we both hated the bathroom. Ok, well, we painted our guest room orange, maybe if we sponge paint some orange over the yellow, it will tone things down. So we try that. Now it looks like Big Bird ate too many candy corns and exploded in our bathroom. So, Johnmark now wants to paint the bathroom silver. Fortunately, he had used up all his bathroom idea coupons, and I was able to stop him. Now the bathroom is green. Green like our living room...and we are going to paint words all over the walls with a cream color. So, it's just possible that the bathroom WON'T look hideous and possessed by Monday. I'll let you know, and, by the way, I'm not holding my breath...

I just want money...all the dang time. I think about money all day, how we don't have any (even though we have all we need). I am just a stupid selfish person that can't trust God to provide, though He does whether or not I believe He will. I wouldn't provide for my ungrateful butt though. God is way better than me.

Tabitha is growing, growing, growing. I can't believe how big she is. And so beautiful. I am so blessed to get to stay with her all day. Sometimes it doesn't feel like a blessing, but I know it is. It's amazing how easily I fall into sin. I should be so joyful about getting to stay at home and not having to work a 9-5 job. Instead, I focus on the negative, how I am stuck here and it's soo inconvenient to have a baby along with all the housework. What an idiot. I feel sorry for my poor husband who is working two jobs in ordr to provide for our family right now, and give me the privilege of staying home with the baby. Bah on me, I suck.