First of all, I would like to state for the record: I like lentil soup a lot. There, now that that is settled...I would also like to state (not necessarily for the record at this time) that I do not like fighting with my husband. In fact, it really sucks.

The amazing thing is that he probably doesn't realize that we are fighting, so honey, if you are reading this today...WE ARE FIGHTING right now. I am mad at you. I am pretty sure that you are mad at me too. Neither of us really know why, you least of all.
Maybe I can spell it out for you. I am selfish, and I like sleep. You deprive m e of both things. Therefore I get mad. Kissing and making up are scheduled for 5:30 p.m.

Bleh...that's how the past 24 hours has been. Tabitha has mysteriously been kidnapped and swapped out with some evil child that needs no sleep and wants to eat as often as she blinks. I am tempted to put her photo on milk cartons, but I don't think they do that anymore. I am living the parenting nightmare of no sleep and visitors on the way to further disrupt what is left of the "schedule". And I am having the worst cramps of my life. So, on the flip side...this experience has taught me to be truly grateful for the good child I used to have. I realize that many parents live this same nightmare, well, nightly. I have been blessed with a three week old who typically enjoys sleeping through the entire night without a peep. So, it could be much worse.

I have been thinking about the wrath of God today. How I am so unaware of its magnitude. Ignorance may be bliss, but it's still ignorance. And yet, is it that I ignore the wrath of God? Well, I must say that I probably do. As foolish a statement as that may be, for, anyone who genuinely encounters the wrath of God certainly cannot ignore it. Which makes me wonder, how am I to honestly fear something that I can't encounter? That wrath intended for me was poured out on Christ. At the same time, reading about the fate of people in the Bible who did meet with God's wrath, I am fully aware that they all ended up dead (at best). So, by intellectual consent, I do fear God. How silly of me to believe that emotional fear is what God is after. Oh no, He wants much more than that.

I must say I am having one of the most bizarre and yet stimulating conversations with my husband today. I often wonder if circumstances or creative energy are the catalyst for these things. Perhaps some of both. Either way, I am feeling extra alive today. It might be the shirt I am wearing. It's a pre-pregnancy shirt, and it fits, except it's a tad short, so it shows a tiny bit of skin, which I think (in spite of the zebra stripe that remains on my stomach) is just a little sexy. And since I am only bumming around the house today with no planned visitors...it's really nice to feel somewhat sexy. And it especially gives me hope for the future (our one year anniversary is coming up and just maybe I'll fit into that black corset again...whooppee!!)

Ok, I suppose that is enough broadcasting of my sex life for today. I got caught in the rain this morning on my daily walk with Tabitha. This was both meaningful and exhilirating for me. I love to get caught in the rain, pair that with my baby girl and it's ten times the joy. Don't worry, we didn't get too wet, just enough to matter.

Speaking of Tabitha, I had the nicest thought about her last night. I realized as I was pondering the smallness of her fingers, that inside of her body, there is already a planned future. Her appearance is, for the most part, mapped out. And significant portions of her personality and tastes have been decided already. I am so amazed by God when I think of these things. She's so small, yet, she is equipped already for her life. There are memories just waiting to be made. All that remains is the passage of time. Then I wonder if every mother realizes this. Did mine, when she stared into my little curled fist, think that one day I would be standing here with a daughter of my own, unprepared and full of anticipation the way she was?